Inspirareyla

Tonight. 12.51am to be precise. Crazy right? It's never easy to face the true fears that lie within your deepest self. Maybe that's why I kept ignoring it, pretending that it never existed. But I was wrong. The turnstile of life draws the most vulnerable and true parts of you out, and yet I fail to see that I am limited. I am limited by myself. It's almost impossible for me to acknowledge the reality at times, to say for once that I may well and truly desire to explore beyond that which I have been given. Why, still, do I remain trapped? Do these words I let flow even create fathomable sentences? Is this the reason I was brought into this admittedly small and time bound world which will eventually consume me before pledging to another soul?  These question I pose, I leave for myself to answer but realise how much more confused it only makes me. That emptiness. It's eating me away leaving me lost and open to a soul of darkness and falsity. But then, it is I who brought u

The days. Flying by ever so fast yet the pain of confusion wears away slowly. Comparing the fast paced life with the soft and unhealed wounds of yesterday seemingly contradict each other. One is a wind that cannot be caught and the other a dream delved into every second. Though, I must say, this is what makes everything so beautiful. The ability to put yourself in the spotlight, exposed to the potential failure and harm, but still persevering and taking the chance. When all that matters is to win and be a part of expectations, the true essence is missed out upon. Confusion. That's what remains. To satisfy all is not an option, but to do good for all is an aim worth fighting for. Left alone on my own, the great world my critic, my young and flustered self a victim almost. A victim. Victim to what? Answerable to who? Wronged which aspect of life? I am my own victim. With the great exposure to opportunities comes the great threat of failure. A woman of color with a headscarf, two st

Trapped in a moment of overwhelming responsibilities, I sit here confused yet calm. To escape, I assume. Writing is my path of walk when there is no other step so comforting and relaxing. One task, then another, accumulating endlessly until there is no eye to see the world beyond. Almost inescapable. Almost, but not quite. I guess it is at times as such when one begins pondering the depths of life. Is this purely just a matter of intrigue or perhaps another face of procrastination? Nonetheless, it's a time of great thought, probably the best self advice comes when there are numerous things impending at my mind. And here, I will attempt to organise my unkempt thoughts into fathomable words, my mind seeping through nothing but an arrangement letters. Tonight. A time I had not imagined yet a time that is nearing too fast. Potential fear? Or maybe just uncertainty. I do not know. There is however an undeniable and painstakingly constant reality rushing to make a grand entrance. I co

Moments. A moment of hope. A moment of despair. The truth. Is it what's said or does it hide in that which is heard? The words of the mind most certainly can contradict the beating of the heart. Pleasures that seem so dear vanish once exposed to the reality and temporary breath I breathe. The human heart is quite funny at times, feeling greatly affected by those you don't even know. Today, a young girl returned to Allah SWT after fighting a form of children's cancer, neuroblastoma. May Allah SWT grant patience to her family and give Princess Aliza a place in Jannatul Firdaus. I had followed this young girl's story for a while, and was aware that her treatments had failed and she was being sent back to her home in Netherlands. But I guess it isn't as simple when reality strikes and the truth lingers over leaving nothing less than a broken heart. This little girl has fused great inspiration to me. Who am I and why am I here? Being so caught up in the midst of mat

The walk up the path may be a difficult one, the only way to ease the boundaries is through self respect and belief. But what happens when the faith is lost within oneself? Yet others appear to withhold their expectations in you? Today, it all came crumbling in my palms, with none left to turn to. It is this expression, one where I can be assured through which I won't be judged and expectations are but there. The pressure certain people can impose on your life can be mountainous, you don't quite realise until you are forced to take a breath. Amid it all, you happen to forget what it is that you truly want; your ambitions and desires. Although, what you want seems to be immersed in the irrelevant aspects of thought as the magnetism of fulfilling the unaccomplished dreams of others happens to be what we toil at with our heart and souls. Yet when can we be assured that it is time to forgive our self and begin to repair the shattered aspirations? It is in this process that your rea

Tonight was amongst the nights where I begin to question many things. My choices, my life, my perspective; it's all being put under the light and I see myself making decisions I otherwise would not have fathomed. More often than not, such moments make me happy. It comes to me as a differential point between what truly matter and what I have left to perceive as important. Sudden change can bring about good. "Change is an inevitable process". Oh my love for such concept cannot fairly be expressed after undergoing an entire module in English on the notion of change. *Sigh*, the joys of english. Anywho, I feel enlightened after making quite a decision tonight, although I do hope my faith in this choice isn't as periodic as the thought of change was!